Fun times

So its another beautiful Saturday morning, I wish it was summer I am itching to be in the mountains, with my family and jeep. I had a great day yesterday with Ginger and Paisley and I hope to do something fun today! Besides watching every star wars movie, Sean has become obbsessed with them!!

I hate Mondays.....

I really hate Mondays!! But at least it was better this week than last!!
I bought U2 tickets this morning, way excited, they are one of my fave bands, this will be the second time seeing them, should be fun!!
I watch Ben today Love it!! He is so freakin cute and fun!! My girls are turning into quite the baby sitters, its fun to watch them with him!!
Sean has gotten into the star wars movies, we have three and i bought the last three on eBay last night. I told him this morning and he was so excited!! But I told him he had to earn them so right away he started listing things he could do like clean his room, help his sisters, thats all he talked about this morning he cracks me up!! So I think my kids rock, and I am so thankful for them!!

Here are some pics from our Ice skating adventure in Midway with Missy, it was fun!!

My Dads birthday

Its sunday and today is my dads birthday. I am happy to be going down to celebrated with him and my brothers family. He is great man and I love him very much!!

I have finaly started feeling better, my emotions are back in check for now!! I am so gratful for John and the patience he has for me at these times, I am also thankful for my sister Kristy, and Ginger and Malia, its nice to have someone to talk to who understands you guys rock!!

We did get some bad news yesterday about Jack, he needs to have surgery on both knees, it will cost about 1200.00.  He is in pain and we are at a loss of what to do, money is tight right now, its just hard to watch him, we feel helpless!!!

I feel like CRAP....

Yea it sucks to feel like this, I was going to my friend Gingers today, but decided to stay home. I am feeling way anti-social, but I miss her and now I wish I was there.  Got a toothache from hell and just waiting to see how much advil will make me od before it gets bettter!!! I want my mommy, but she is not here!!

Monday's

Today has been an emotional roller coaster, I have way to many of those lately!! My kids were out of school, which I don't mind its fun having the home, when they get along. My morning with smoothly no probs, I might I even admit I was happy. I got Benny a little later on and he was a perfect angel of course, I love spending time with him. But this afternoon, i started getting that horrible, anxiety, emptiness, hopeless feeling that I seem to get way to often!! No reason why I just do, maybe I am broken!! It really sucks to have it all and not be able to enjoy it, I don't mean my life is perfect but its pretty damn good. Thats why I can't make sense of this crap I go through!! I tried all afternoon not to cry, to just pretend to be happy. Thats what I want to do, my kids and hubby deserve so much more, but by the time I  picked John up from the mechanics I was on my last thread!! I started to bawl my eyes out, and tried to explain it to him. He has experienced this before so he was very understanding, I feel a little better, but I hope tommorrow is better. It totaly freaks me out because I know this is how my mom felt before her illness took over, it scares me to think I could have what she had!! I am going to keep track of these days and see if there is a pattern and then maybe I can find some help!! Sorry not a happy blog today but probably by next week I will be feeling better and then I write something happy!!

Baby Ben and Gammy Tammy

Well needless to say 2009 was a crazy roller coaster of a year. I had some life changing things happen to me and family, some not so great and really difficult, but some like Baby Ben, that have been incredible.  He is such a huge blessing in our lives, he brings joy into my life, when I get to babysit I call it "Benny Therapy" cause when I am sad he makes me happy!! I am so grateful for him and his sweet beautiful mom!!!!

 I can't beleive that he could get any cuter but......

He does!!! I love mt Benny boy!!

Valentines day

So today is valentines day, I woke up and John played this song for me!! He said this is my Valentines card!!! Needless to say it made me cry! I have the best Husband ever!! Love you Babe!

A faded wedding photograph
You and me in our first dance
Our eyes are closed
We're lost in one sweet embrace
Since those days the world has changed
Our love remains the same
God knows we've had our share of saving grace

And I'm proud of all the blessings
You have given me
The mountains we have climbed to get this far
You learn to take the laughter with the tears
After all these years

You make it feel brand new
After the fires that we walked thru
Against the odds we never lost our faith

In a house we've made our own
Where our children all have grown
Precious moments time can not erase

Make a livin' up and down the gypsy highway
Seasons that we've beared to share apart
Somehow in my heart I always keep you near
After all these years

After all these years
You stood by me
The days and nights that I was gone
After all these years
You sacrificed, believed in me
And you stood strong

Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear
After all these years

After all these years
You stood by me
The days and nights that I was gone
After all these years
You sacrificed, believed in me
And you stood strong
Cause with our love there's nothing left to fear
After all these years